Hmmm... "Being into BDSM as well as bondage"... My first love is of course for bondage, but when I decided to go out and seek it, I found my only support was in the BDSM community. To my surprise, I found that the majority of the people in this community had much more on their minds besides bondage. They tend to pay more attention to information regarding the safe, sane, and consensual aspects of BDSM.

I also find that people who are involved in BDSM tend to look at bondage in a different way than the rest of "us bondage folk". For them bondage is to serve a functional purpose. The bondage is to hold someone still while they whip, wax or spank someone. It can used simply to make someone uncomfortable, or to demonstrate someone's dominance or submission. They tend to favor Japanese bondage styles over American Damsel in Distress styles because it better fits their definition of "functional bondage".

Most "bondage folk" people do not see themselves as falling underneath the BDSM umbrella. They have little understanding of whippings, spankings, or dominance vs submission. We tend to look at bondage in more of an emotional way. We see the fantasy aspect of it all. The visual image is very important to us. It is not real important to us as to whether the woman is dominant or submissive, because for us, when she is tied, it is the ropes that are in control, and the woman becomes helpless. We all have different reasons for what makes the sight of a woman in bondage attractive to us, but the vision, the image, and the emotions are everything. It is not functional bondage for us. To us it is fantasies fulfilled.

How did you get started Sir, in bondage and all?

My bondage fantasies got started at the early age of 6 when I watched my older brother and sister tie up the cute little cowgirl next door. At that age I wasn't aware of why it affected me so deeply, but as I grew I realized that this desire to see women in bondage would not go away. When I did the first shoot for my site, Sandra and Stormy showed up with lots of costumes. One of them included a cowboy hat and a fringe leather jacket. I knew right then and there that it was going to be a great shoot, and that I was hooked on cowgirls again.

Sir Red must have told you about my fear of having my photo put on the net.

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Yes, Red and I talked for quite a while Monday.

We would both like to see more males involved in some of the photos that are out there on the web. Girl/girl is okay, but I would love to see more male Doms in pictures. Neither of us are threatened by seeing males in the pictures with bound ladies. We also talked a bit about our private lives, and yes I am, and always have been single. I never let myself get too close to any ladies because I knew that if did, I would have to tell them about my love of bondage, and I didn't want to do that. We also talked about the website business, likes and dislikes and a little bit about where most of my models come from. There were a few private things that we talked about too, but of course those things were "private". Actually he and I have several opinions in common. I like that a lot.

I don't really have any quotes, but I do remember discussing philosophy on why a female in bondage is appealing to us as men.

I remember telling you about this Red. Men are by nature, extremely attracted to females and female beauty. It is simple biology. The sex that was handed this overwhelming urge for sex, turned out to be the male. This very fact gives females a certain amount of power over the male. She could talk you into just about anything if you let her.

Bondage helps balance out that power. When a woman is tied, she still possesses the power to attract, and the power to influence, but the man now controls how much she can move, and say. In a way you could say that a tied female gives men a sense of safety, it is harder for her to tempt us or lead us away from our better judgment.

Just a theory.

Sir Roper, men are sexy, to be sure. But they aren't the only ones thinking about sex. Sir Red and i have had this conversation before. The example i usually give is the male peacock, he's very pretty (ok, handsome - if i must.) Take the male lion, again obviously better looking than the female of the species. In maybe every species that we know of it is the male who is better looking Sir. Very interesting take on the philosophy shevette. I do believe that you are a rarity though, and I do appreciate the fact that you are different than most women. We need more women like you out there, and the ranks do seem to be growing. I don't think, however that most people (male or female) find the male body to be sexy. As you said, the male body is hard to draw. I think it is because we do not have curves, our bodies are rather bland. And the one appendage that we do have that you don't, is not considered to be overly attractive by either sex. The fact that with the peacock, lion, and practically every other species, the male is more colorful than the female, lends credence to the theory that it is the male who is attracted to and must compete for the female. The male of the species is more colorful, engages in combat, builds nests, etc. for the sheer purpose of competing for the attention of the female. The female being not as driven toward sex can afford to wait to find the mate of her choice. Of course the most attractive and healthy females gets the most attention from the male as well. So in a sense, males are also getting to do a little choosing if only by default.

 

I do understand that a woman such as yourself can find a man to be handsome. I do believe that some women have a higher level of sexuality and desire than others. I believe that you have that gift. Some sex researchers also claim that as women mature, their estrogen level drops a bit allowing more of their testosterone to flow through their veins. This tends to make women more sexually driven, and assertive as well.

And do all women look pretty? No.. I have had a few of those English teachers. Do all women look pretty when they are tied up? No.. but I think that most women do look prettier, in our eyes when they are tied up. That is just our fetish showing through.

As some have suggested, men are quick to heat up and quick to cool down. Females are slower to warm up, but they burn at a higher temperature. That may explain why a woman would end up being more frustrated than a man when coitus is interrupted. It took her longer to build up to that level, so it is also going to take longer for her to cool down from there. It is unfortunate.

As far as a woman needing reassurance of their beauty and sexuality. I would agree that they feel the need to know, and need constant reassurance that they are beautiful. Men on the other hand tend not to think that much about it. Men tend to be more 'self actualized' in that regard. They have seen themselves in the mirror, and have already made their judgment as to whether or not they are attractive. If they are, they accept it and don't need to be reassured. If they are not, they accept it, and hope that they get better looking as they get old. Many women, no matter how attractive they are, need constant reassurance. We as men we feel that once we tell them several times that they are attractive, it should be enough for them to realize that they are truly beautiful. It is not the case. Most women need a constant reassurance, as if their beauty is going to fade overnight. Your beauty will not fade overnight.

Women also need to realize that their inner beauty does show on the outside as well. Women who may not seem as attractive at first glance, always look better to us after we get to know them better. If their personality is pleasant, fun, kind, generous. If she reciprocates our love, she becomes the most beautiful creature on earth to us. Every movement, every smile, every gleam in her eye, every sound of her voice becomes a window to her soul, and if her soul is beautiful, so is everything else. When that magic happens, our world is complete.

In case you haven't been able to tell...I am VERY opinionated <Smile>

Whew! What an interview! And there's more coming! i think you will agree that Sir Roper is quite special and i am very pleased to anounce that we (Sir Red, Sir Roper, and me) are going to get together and do some 'fireside chats' in the very near future. i can't wait to see what he and Sir Red have to say, and i can't wait to see how they are going to tie me up too! giggle

 

  Coming soon: tracee and i make a bet about going to Hooter's on Halloween and getting tied up!

PS: thanks for the cowgirl hat Sir Roper, i love it!